Debt Doesn’t Define You: A Mantra to Help You Release the Anchors And Move Forward
A few days ago I met with a close friend and client of mine. She asked me a few questions about a few decisions she needed to make. I told her what I thought would help her in her journey to financial freedom. While we were chatting a thought occurred to me and I asked her, “How does being this much in debt make you feel?” What she told me made my eyes well up and I wanted to give her a hug even though we were in Starbucks having coffee. She said to me, “I feel like a failure.” 🙁 This is a college educated woman who is a go-getter and has goals for her future. To hear that the money issues she’d been having brought her self-esteem down so much really saddened me. It also renewed the feeling of needing to help her and women like her get their mojo back.
[Tweet “Having Debt Doesn’t Make You a Failure”]
Having debt doesn’t make you a failure.
It doesn’t make you a loser or stupid. No matter the dollar amount, past collections, court visits, you are not your debt. Only you know what kind of person you are and can be. Your credit score isn’t a measurement of who you are as a person. It’s just a scoring system based on past actions you have taken. Do not let it hold you back.
Coming to grips with how you feel about your money and your debt is the very first step in gaining clarity and control. You can’t move forward with mental anchors holding you in place. Your feelings of inferiority and guilt are all forms of mental anchors. Another type of anchor is a physical anchor reserved for family and friends. All of these are things you might need to leave behind on this journey. I mean leave them behind in a financial sense.
Today I want you to write down your honest feelings about you and your debt. I also want you to write down some anchors holding you in place financially. Then release them. Allow yourself to be released from the strain and drain of it all.
I would like you to repeat after me:
[Tweet “I am not my debt. My debt does not define me. I love myself in spite of my debt and money issues.”]
I am not my debt. My debt does not define me. I love myself in spite of my debt and money issues.
You are not alone in this.
I struggled with my feelings towards my debt of $25,000 debt + student loans. I had a low credit score and low self-esteem. I didn’t do much in the way of payments except make the minimum. I hadn’t really been taught how to manage my money, just how to pay bills. Then a few years ago I decided that I wanted to be a millionaire and after research discovered that I couldn’t become one while still making debt payments. It took a lot of work and soul searching but I have since cleared most of it except for one student loan taken recently. I tell you this so you know I am there with you and I’ve been through the deeply hurt feelings towards myself. I thought I was a failure. My confidence was in the toilet. It wasn’t until I wanted and felt the need to make a change that I did. Now I want to help you make those changes as well. We can do this!
Now it’s your turn. How has having debt made you feel? If you aren’t in as much debt or have no debt how does that make you feel? Share in the comments and I will reply!