This morning during my meditation (yes this IS a recurring theme lol) I started saying some of my affirmations out loud. “I am good enough” “I am more than good enough” “It’s ok to be myself” “It’s ok to be real.” “They won’t throw rocks at you.”… WOAH?! Where did that come from? Apparently something had been weighing on my mind.
When I was 2nd grade I was often made fun of for being smart and black (dark skin). Crazy thing is that it was other young kids that did this. Who do they learn this stuff from? Anyway one fall brisk day after a long day at school I was walking home with my heavy backpack. I walked through the basketball court in the my housing development. And there were kids there and as I was walking through and they started yelling at me. I kept walking. Ignored them (so I thought) but then I felt something. Then more something. Harder. And more frequently. I felt them on my body and IN my head. “Why are they throwing rocks at me?! I didn’t do anything to them! Why do they hate me!”
“Blackie!” “Nerd!” “Oreo” And other negative hurtful things that no one should ever hear directed towards them. I started running and they started chasing me! I ran all the way home. Went to my room and cried and cried and cried. From that day for months I didn’t go through the basketball court and later in my life I’ve avoided showing my true self.
I constantly seemed standoffish. Almost better than. But what I’m doing is protecting myself. But in order to be an effective entrepreneur and to create lasting change I need to be open and vulnerable.
This is obviously a deep seated fear of mine if it’s coming up during my meditations. I’m so grateful to be overcoming this by talking about it and doing more public speaking. This semester alone 4 of my 5 courses have presentations and my peers have complemented my presentation skills. This also has me wanting to create more workshops to work with groups of people and show my personality.
Takeaway for you (if you so wish)
- Surround yourself with people who encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and who cheer you on when you do.
- Get deeper with your affirmations. Obviously my previous ones were still surface level.
- Comment below what you do to overcome childhood experiences.
I really hope this was helpful to you. If you plan become an entrepreneur know that the personal growth and development is a major major part of it. Don’t hesitate to comment below or subscribe to get this post via email.
With 💜 Brittany Marie